I feel lyk I dun matter 2 him anymore...he can jux so easily use break up as an example...mayb Im tinking too much...budden its lyk I duno y I kip failing...e 5love languages doesnt seem 2 b working...words of affirmation...nt working...quality tym...nt working...gifts...nt working...mayb I shuld jux do him an act of servive by breaking up wif him...aft all...it doesnt matter whether Im tgt wif him anotx ritex? As long as I love him...love doesnt mean nid 2 b tgt wif him mahx...as long as he's happy...dats enuf ritex? I kip feeling Im nt making him happy...everything I tried doing is lyk wrong...everything I accidentally did is oso wrong...those things kip making him angry sad disappointed...lyk eg...I tried lyk being frank wif him...lyk everything I shuld jux tell him...aft all...he IS my boyfren...den I gt scolding frm him...I really duno how 2 solve dat prob...I tink Im too immature...too tactless...too stupid...I shuld jux 4gt it...I guess ytd was e last hug I gt frm him...ytd din suck as much cox gt his hug...its lyk his hug is so diff frm e hugs I gt frm my frens...is lyk e hug jux make me feel everything is alrite n I can go back n face my parents again n oso dat everything will b jux fine...it oso lyk make me feel strong again...I guess I cant gt dat hug anymore...if we eva break...I tink I will cry? Numb my pain by studying? Or mayb both...I oni noe I will defo act my days away n bottle my unhappiness up...lyk wad I owaex do...b4 Im wif Dear...

Den he asked me jux nw y m I scared...I tot e ans wuld b obvious considering hes e 1 hu said y shuld I b scared since I did no wrong 2 him...I did wrong so Im scared...budden I no tell him...I scare I say wrong thing again...I feel lyk KS is rite...e older 1 gets...e more humji he/she gt...I feel lyk Im bcoming more n more lyk n ostrich...when Im scared...I jux hid myself...anywaex...nw I wish I can disappear frm e face of e Earth n nvr come back...den I can make every1 happy? I guess dats y I left Tsubasa...I cant carry on staying there lerhx...I tink I go home 2 DDV bahx...at least I noe dat gt Mummy, Daddy, Auntie Esther, Wenn Jie, Rinnio, Yu, Andy n etc...at least I noe I can owaex count on dem cox its home...nt dat Tsubasa n SilentHeart isnt home...jux dat...DDV is more home...cox my family is there...I tink dat was 1 of e reason I went back bahx...its lyk ytd when Im scared n thus left Tsubasa...1st guild I tot of was DDV...1st person I tot of toking 2 otha den Dear, PaPa, Rinnio, Sannio was Auntie Esther...budden 1 thing I regret joining DDV was dat I hav 2 leave Tsubasa n dat Im in e same guild as Tim's bro...zZz~totally 4gotten dat aldonisrockx is oso in DDV larhx...budden nvm...I guess its alrite...I hope...no tok much 2 Al oso anywaex...

Mum asking me y Im crying lerhx...bb

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